


Persevering

by GirlAlchemist



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Cannon, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I got really emotional, I suck at tagging, I'm making this up as I go along, KaraMel, Sad with a Happy Ending, bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 18:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlAlchemist/pseuds/GirlAlchemist
Summary: How had it come down to this?An impossible choice.On the one hand, the planet that had become her new home. Her family and friends.On the other, the man she had somehow fallen in love with.No matter which one she picked, her heart would end up shattered beyond repair.That was the only certainty.





	Persevering

**Author's Note:**

> First ever attempt at doing Supergirl fanfiction.
> 
> Suggested soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBzkIomfrlA

Kara felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Logically she knew she could, after all Kryptonians weren’t susceptible to lead. But what her rational mind recognized to be true meant little to nothing when her throat felt like it was swelling and closing up and her lungs were attempting to collapse in on themselves. Her whole chest ached with this unbearable, indescribable pressure, and with every second that passed it just got worse and worse.

Mon-El was suffocating right in front of her and she didn't know what to do. He collapsed to his knees, coughing and gasping, his right hand around his throat. His body kept trying to inhale oxygen out of the toxic air, but with every labored breath, all he managed was to increase the amount of lead in his system, further poisoning himself.

"Mon-El!" Kara exclaimed frantically, falling to her knees right beside him. "No! No, please. Please!" She didn't even know who she was pleading with. Her mind was scrambled, her thoughts rushing in a myriad of different directions. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! Just when everything she'd never known she wanted or needed was right at her fingertips. Another wave of burning distress overcame her, hitching her breath and blurring her vision with unshed tears.

She had been so naïve! Why had she been stupid enough to trust that Rhea would have the integrity to honor the ancient rite of Dakkam Ur? The woman had proven time and time again to be a duplicitous, backstabbing bitch. For the love of Rao, she had even admitted to killing her own husband. 

She was a horrible, vindictive, deceitful monster. 

But, of course, Kara had insisted on giving Rhea another chance, unshakable in her belief that there was some good inside of everyone, no matter how little or how deep down. She had honestly believed the Daxam Queen would respect her own planet's ritual. She had willfully ignored Mon-El's attempts to convince her of how bad of an idea it was to challenge his mother to a trial by combat. How stupid and barbaric Dakkam Ur was in the first place…

She should've have listened to him. Should have given his advice more consideration. But she had been stubborn in her hope that the age-old, sacred rite would be the best way to end the invasion with the least amount of blood shed. After all, if she won, the Daxamites would have been bound by ancient law to leave her planet in peace.

She had known challenging Rhea to fight for the Earth would be dangerous. Dakkam Ur was not something to be taken lightly. Kara had known the fate of the country, of the planet, would be resting on her shoulders. But she had been willing to sacrifice herself if it meant keeping all those she loved and her adoptive planet safe. No price too steep if it assured the wellbeing and survival of her loved ones. But she had been wrong. So very, very wrong. And now her heart would be the fee to pay for her foolishness.

She was drowning in a tumultuous sea of sorrow. Watching the man she loved fight for every labored breath. The constricting force around her chest tightened, stealing the air from her lungs and weakening her legs. She felt like her world was collapsing around her. 

Her soul blackened further with every second that she had to be a witness to Mon-El's suffering. Her sunny and optimistic disposition giving way to hatred and grief. She had once been a silly, innocent little girl, with an open and trusting heart. Not anymore. 

Kara was now ready to admit that the Daxam monarch had absolutely no morals. No decency. She had violated the terms of the Dakkam Ur and shamed herself in the eyes of the gods. And for what? Rhea's loathing of Kryptonians had consumed her to the point that it had cost her both her husband and son. She had dishonored the terms of their deal and ordered her troops to attack during their fight. What was a new planet worth when she wouldn't have anyone by her side to rule it with? No heir to take over the reins once she passed away? She was a sad excuse for a person blinded by her rage and hunger for power. Hell bent on destruction. On spreading misery and fear. Kara knew that now. But it was too late. Because of her idiocy and unwarranted trust in the innate goodness of people, she had sentenced the only man she had ever loved to either permanent exile or certain death.

"I'm gonna get you somewhere safe." Kara forced out, fighting against the anguish that kept trying to pull her under and drown her in heartache. She needed to keep a clear head if she was going to come up with a way to save Mon-El. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not think past the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes. Her emotions had overwhelmed her brain, preventing her from any rational thinking.

"I'm gonna take you somewhere safe," she insisted helplessly. Maybe if she wished it hard enough it would somehow become reality. She would not, _could not lose him_. Not when they'd just finally been honest about their feelings for each other! They'd wasted so much time hating and distrusting the other based on prejudices that stemmed from decades of bad blood between their planets. And then picking fights over small and silly things because they both were afraid of how deeply they cared for each other. It all seemed so dumb and pointless now.

"It's okay," Mon-El gasped in between painful sounding breaths, turning to look her in the eyes. What she saw in his gaze frightened her more than the prospect of fighting his mother for the fate of their planet ever could have. She saw acceptance. Resignation.

"No. Stop," she interrupted. Begged. She was not ready to lose him. No. No one was giving up. She would not allow him to give up. There had to be a way to help him, to save him. _There had to be!_

"Alex!" she exclaimed suddenly. Hope momentarily lifting the dark cover of desolation that was steadily falling over her. Her sister was listening to everything that was happening through the comms. She would know how to help. Alex always had a plan to save the day. She had been Kara's own superhero since they were little girls. "Alex, do something! Tell me what to do!" she pleaded brokenly, letting all her pain and heartbreak come through her voice. Mon-El was running out of time, they needed to do something!

"Kara, there's nothing _to do_." Regret was clear as day on her big sister's voice. "The entire atmosphere's been affected." Alex's, _I'm so sorry, Kara,_ was implicit in the inflexion and tone of her voice.

Kara closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath, willing her tears to stay at bay. She couldn't afford to break down now, no matter how her grief was eating her alive. She needed to be strong for Mon-El. _He_ was all that was important right then.

"How long does he have?" she forced herself to ask.

"I don't know... A few minutes?" came the unsure reply.

No. _No._ She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Why? Why was this happening?!

She felt Mon-El taking a deep breath and turned her eyes down to look at him. "It was worth it," he told her earnestly, looking her straight in the eyes, conviction and confidence infused in each of his weak syllables. He was trying to tell her that it was okay, that he understood. He was at peace with dying because of the sins of his people. It was all in his beautiful, blue-gray gaze. Forgiveness, understanding, acceptance. _Love._

That last one felt like a thousand hot knives slashing at her insides. "Stop, stop," she implored in a whisper, willing him to save his strength. She tightened her arms around him, wishing she could give him the oxygen in her lungs. Keep him from the horror of asphyxiating on the very air he was breathing. Trying to come to terms with the fact that she was the one responsible for the situation he was currently in.

Kara would never be able to forgive herself for doing this to him. But maybe there was a way she could save him. She just needed to muster the strength to do it.  
"Alex? Uhh… Do something for me?"

Another crack appeared on her already battered and mourning heart. But this was the only way.

**Author's Note:**

> This pair snuck up on me. I've always had the impression that for Mon-El it was love at first sight, and even though he was a major a-hole in the beginning, in my eyes he's managed to redeem himself through the second season, and do a lot of emotional growth and maturing. Now I couldn't love him more.
> 
> I know not everyone ships this couple, so I ask the haters to please refrain from bashing it. You hate my writing that's fine, critize it all you want. But please don't hate on the ship.
> 
> I promise to update as soon as I can, and that not everything may be as bleak as it looks right now ;)
> 
> I'm thinking this'll be a three chapters fic.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!
> 
> (This hasn't been beta'd, so any and all mistakes are my own)


End file.
